Your recent post got me to remembering all of the things I love best and look forward to most about the holidays.  I agree that all of those things are based on long standing traditions.

As a child, I remember one of my male relatives, usually my Uncle Charles, would read The Christmas Story from the Bible with all of us kids gathered on the floor around his feet.  That was following by the singing of all of the favorite Christmas songs, always starting with Silent Night, Holy Night.

As young marrieds, my husband and I convinced our kids that Santa preferred cookies and sparkling wine to the usual milk.  That was our little reward to ourselves after hours of wrapping presents and putting together those impossible to put together toys.  We would drink the wine together while my husband wrote the kids a letter from "Santa" thanking them for being such good people and to remind them of the true meaning of Christmas.  My daughter and son in law now have my husband write our grandchildren a "Santa " letter every year.  She saves them packed away with the Christmas decorations and we reread  them while we sip our wine and wait for the kids to fall asleep so Santa can come.

There are many, many more things we do every season that are such traditions that they are automatic, habits, really.  We just wouldn't do it any other way.

Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Jean

{images: moxiee, double cappaccino}

This is going to be a very strange year for me because for the first time neither my husband nor I will be with our families on Christmas.  We live in Colorado and due to work schedules we can't be there on Christmas, and knowing that has made me think of all the traditions that we usually share.  Growing up my parents, sisters, and my mom's mom always spent Christmas Eve together.  We would dress up, go to mass (we were in the choir until we went to college), make and eat a fancy dinner, the sisters would exchange gifts, our dad would read Polar Express, and we would go to bed (I would always sleep in my little sister's room because my room was the guest room so my grandma would spend the night in there).  I always thought that we were so special to get grandma on Christmas Eve because my mom has 14 other siblings, but grandma ALWAYS stayed with us. 

Christmas morning always began with my sisters and I trying to shine flashlights into each other's windows or tapping out morse code messages (that we didn't understand) on our walkie-talkies.  Then we would pounce on my parents to wake them up.  My mom would sit with us at the top of the stairs while my dad would go downstairs to "check" to see if Santa had come and gone yet.  And then we would pour down the stairs and look at the presents for a while.  We always went straight for the stockings because we were allowed to open those while grandma got up and joined us and my parents started breakfast.  Then we all opened presents and my mom's sister and her family (who lived five houses down from us) would come to our house or we would go to theirs and everybody would share more presents.  Then we would eat - and I have to say that all those adults were AMAZING cooks.  There would always be strata, white hot chocolate, cinnamon buns, and sausage.

I'm not sure what we'll do this year without any family, but I'm checking back often to see if there's any traditions that my husband and I can start together. 

Also, it's not a Christmas tradition, but when we were little, my mom used to have tea for my sisters and I on Friday after school.  We all had our own china cups that we got to pick out, and we used silver spoons, and it was very fun and girly, and there was always a delicious dessert.  This was pretty much what happened every Friday during middle school and part-way through high school until things got too busy. 

I can't wait to see more traditions, I love knowing the traditions that people hold sacred.

{images: Juan Silva, {JO}, xkembri}

{images: Highland park red tree - errantellipses, Lutefisk gnome - ~Darin~}

And the winner is #96, Heather! 

Here's her comment:

***Jackie, you are absolutely right!  If this doesn't prove that I am utterly asleep in the morning hours than nothing does!***

The second winner is #43, Cara!

Here's what she wrote:

One of my family's longest running traditions is the gift exchange.  Typically at Thanksgiving we draw names to see who we will be giving gifts to that Christmas.  For years, not only did we give a store bought gift but we also gave a gag gift as well.  Year after year the gag gifts became more and more elaborate.  Props, skits, and extensive directions accompanied many of these gifts.  There were often silly, sometimes disgusting, and finally humiliating.  Thus, the end of the gag gift tradition.  After several subsequent years of only store bought gifts, my family has found a new way to get rid of some of that excess creative energy.  As a mentioned in a previous post, for the second year in a row we are now giving homemade gifts along with our store bought. 

Because we alternate years of spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family and my husbands family, Sean and I typically only take part in the gift exchange every other year.  This year we drew names earlier and are exchanging gifts the day after Thanksgiving.  Hence why I was stressing so much about getting my gift completed. 

I'm excited to post about our homemade gifts next Monday to give you lots of good ideas in time for your gift giving. 

I love this tradition for so many reasons.  First, I love that we can go all out and get really into the gift that we are giving to our person because we aren't feeling drained of time, money or energy trying to purchase gifts for tons of people.  Off of that point, financially it is really a blessing.

It is also one of the most fun times for our family all year.  We get really cozy with hot drinks and really make an event of it.  It often takes a looong time, and we love that.  It is also so much fun to see everyone's creativity and hard work. 

Both last year and this year Sean and I shared a similar dialogue as we were working on our gifts.  We  noted how much we enjoyed learning these new skills and how we know we would never have done it otherwise.  There is something deeply satisfying about making something that you could have just as soon purchased.  And something ridiculously satisfying when you like what you made more than that something you could have bought. 

I am loving this new tradition.

{images clockwise: Marion, musicpb, kylanicole, rikrak creations}

I love traditions more than just about anything.  Really.  (See?)  You could tell me about nearly any tradition your family might have and I am bound to love it, unless maybe it's a mean or gross tradition.  But those should have their own separate term anyway.  Not to go all psycho-babble on you but I think traditions are an integral part of a child's root system.  It offers identity and history and being part of something beyond themselves.  And they're fun. 

One of my favorite things about tradition is that you don't need to be particularly creative or have a lot of money.  Traditions can be ridiculously simple and totally free.  Drinking root beer every Thursday after school with your mom has the same benefits and serves the same internal purposes as an annual blowout shopping spree in NYC.  In hindsight the pleasure is more about the anticipation and re-enactment of the tradition than the specifics of that tradition.

I'm going to be sharing a few of our holiday traditions and I would love, LOVE to hear yours.  If you are interested in sharing a family tradition of yours, please send me an e-mail telling me all about it.  (My e-mail link is in the righthand sidebar.)  It can brief or long, you can include photos, whatever you like -

Can't wait to hear...

{image by Idle Type}

Speaking of kids and cards...I am loving these. They are from olliegraphic and there is a range of options available for whatever your card or invitation need may be.  All of the customizable options are adorable.  I love the clean and fresh look of their illustrations with maybe a bit of a stylized fifties feel. 

As soon as we get our referral photo for our new little one (say a prayer it's in December!) I am definitely going to make a card with my three little one on it.  These will make for great thank-you notes coming from any one of them or all of them at once.  I'm wavering between the thank-you notes and individual prints of each kid.  Decisions!

For a little bit more, you can fully customize the look of each child.  Oh, and one of my favorite buying options is that they sell just the graphic so you can print up as many cards as you want from home.   I also think that these would make a great personal gift for friends or family.

These are just the standard customizeing options.  Cute, no?

And the Christmas cards!  If I happened to be organized enough to send out Chrsitmas cards, these would be them!

Spotted here.

I love holidays.  Love.  And for me it isn't just about the trimmings, gifts and fancy food.  One of the things that I love the most about a holiday is the meaning behind it, within it.  Let's take Thanksgiving for example.  I love turkey and stuffing much as the next person but I can prepare these things any day of the year.  Why is Thanksgiving turkey so much better than any other turkey of the year?  The saddest Thanksgiving holidays that I have ever spent are the days when gratitude never came up.  When at no part during the day did we take a minute to share what we are thankful for. 

Last Thanksgiving I shared the story of Squanto.  (This is one of those stories that I hear and instantly think - for all the crappy films out there, how has this not be made into a movie?  Well, apparently it has and I will definitely be renting it this year.)  Squanto's story is the true story of Thanksgiving and I heard it, not once, in all my years.  How is that possible?

We give one specific day of the year to thankfulness.  The funny thing about thankfulness is that it is not a natural response.  I mean sure, if we win something, or something really spectacular happens, we feel thankful.  But in the day to day of the world we live in, we far more often dwell on our lack rather than our abundance.  I hate my job.  Or my mom really bugs me.  Or I can't get pregnant.  Or my kids killing me.  Or even, I really want that dress,  those arms, that life. On any given day, even our very worst days, we have perhaps a million things to be grateful for.  Yet sometimes it feels impossible to see beyond our lack.  Gratitude will never be our natural response in the mundane or difficult times until we begin to cultivate it.

Because I'm not so great at gratitude, I'm trying to cultivate it young in my kids.  We worked on a little project a couple of days ago to get our hearts ready for the upcoming holiday.  We made a list if who would be at our Thanksgiving table (minus those my kids have never met) and we made them a card.  Eva got a chance to  write each persons name in their card (she is especially loving any project where she gets to practice her writing...I'm thankful I have a calligrapher in the making!)  Then I asked both kids to be quiet for a minute and think about that specific person.  After they had thought about them for a moment I asked what it is about that person that they are thankful.  I jotted down their responses, they stuck stickers and punched out leaves and that was it.  We'll stick the cards in the mail today. 

Not only was I blessed to have a little project over which to discuss the idea of gratitude (delving into the finer nuainces with a three year old is quite an experience!) but they seemed blessed to get to think about each person individually and what that person means to them, something that most probably they have never done before.  And maybe even the recipient will get blessed.  Sometimes the only thing it takes to nudge us towards gratitude, is someone being grateful for us. 

Click here, to see another one of our kid card projects.

Tawny and I were discussing what she should get her husband for Christmas and without missing a beat I exclaimed  - "A fireplace!"  They have a really lovely home in an adorable neighborhood, but no fireplace...can you imagine?  Really, the horror. 

I live in Texas, and around October I start cranking the AC up so I can begin my day fireside.  Not the most environmental option, I realize. 

Tawny - these are the fireplaces that I was telling you about!  They are from a company called Malm, and Sean and I are both obsessed with them.  Talk about a surefire way to take a room from ho-hum to off the charts.  In saying this, I understand that these are a pretty strong and specific look but I can imagine them in a large range of interior styles.  And oustide?  Forgetaboutit!  Just fantastic.

Do what do you think?  Love 'em or hate 'em?

{images: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7}

I have begun to hit the cookbooks, looking for fun and interesting variations to our family Thanksgiving favorites.  First stop?  Always and forever - something from my collection of Cooks Illustrated paraphernalia.  I have magazines, I have cookbooks.  I even try to catch their show whenever I can.  I love me some Cooks Illustrated. 

Why?  You may ask.  They spell it out.  Nothing is worse then being told to blanch something and all that comes to mind is Streetcar Named Desire.  I need the play by play.  Definitions, descriptions, lots of drawings showing me exactly what I need to know, exactly when I need to know it.

For the past several years The New Best Recipe has been my most beloved cookbook.  I highly recommend getting it into the hands of any graduate or newlywed you might happen upon.  Definitely my best basic cookbook.  And just out is the new More Best Recipes.  This cookbook takes things a little further.  It houses many beloved recipes but these ones are a bit more interesting then everybody's favorites in it's predecessor.

Do you know how these particular recipes end up in these particular cookbooks?  Let me tell you.  They pick a common favorite recipes.  Then choose about 50 of the most popular variations of that recipe.  And then all of the Test Kitchen Chefs go to town...they cook up every one of these recipes, several times, making subtle variations: ingredient choices, temperature, tool.  After extensive testing the chefs decide upon the ultimate recipe keeping in mind ease, cost and number of ingredients.  I have yet to have one of their recipes fail me.  No lie.

So, I have a couple of extra copies of More Best Recipes.  Want one?  Just share your favorite Thanksgiving dish and you are entered to win.  I'll announce two winners next Tuesday.

First of all, love your name (hehe) and love your blog!  I have it bookmarked and visit everyday.  I stumbled upon in when you were featured on Design Mom, another blog I visit daily.  I enjoyed so much reading and seeing all of your wedding details, and then I found out that you were adopting a child, and I knew this was the blog for me.  My husband and I have hopes of adopting from Korea one day when the money is saved and God has given his blessing.  This leads me into my question of the day... I'm preggers with my first (we're waiting and it will be a surprise!), and I'll be very pregnant for Christmas and all of it's social events, and I'm having such a hard time finding a dress that will be dressy enough for the holidays and chic enough for all of my showers.  I'd like something neutral that maybe I can make a few sashes or a few ribbon belts with flowers to change it up (I'm thinking a camel or chocolate color would look good on my skin and be flattering). Budget is also a concern (I'm a graphic designer and my husband is a youth minister, so, while we are blessed, we remain humble, if you know what I mean).  You seem to have similar taste (classic, chic, anything French) to me, and I was hoping that you could point me in the right direction of somewhere fabulous that maybe you found while you were pregnant.  Any advice you could offer would be wonderful!

~Emily

Hi Emily -

thanks for your great question.  I'm sure there are plenty of woman out there with the same predicament.  Here's how I would tackle it.  I also like to go to my favorite shops first, even if they are out of my price range.  You never know, they may just have the perfect thing on sale.  You may have to be a bit more flexible with color, etc. but could very well fall in love with something affordable that will be quality enough to see you through future pregnancies.  Another idea, depending on your size and how you are carrying - is to find a non-maternity dress in a maternity friendly style or in a larger size.  I can't tell you the number of times that I have asked people about their adorable maternity clothes and they have told me that it's some no-maternity find that they bought large.  I also love your idea of picking a neutral dress and then having fun with accessories to change it up for different events.  I do this in normal life even when I'm not pregnant. 

My favorite "little black maternity dresses" came from the sale rack at Nordstrom.  Though not in the brown family, black looks great with all coloring and is the most versatile color to wear in an assortment of ways.

I think this dress is adorable.  It's available for $48.90.

This cute pleated dress with pockets is on sale for $31.90

This dress has the perfect amount of holiday glamour but is still simple and understated for $57.90.

This may be my favorite.  Not quite as versatile as the others but very sophisticated and flattering.  It's from Destination Maternity for $34.98.

 This fun, beaded cocktail dress from Due is ready to go, even without jewelry.  It's $58.00

This camel, chiffon cocktail dress is perfection.  Other than the price, at $106 it may be more than you are looking to spend but then again, this one may be worth the splurge.  It's from Due, as well.

So far as accessories, I'd hit Forever 21.  You could spend $20 in there and walk out with loads of fun options. I went to grab some photos of fun stuff and had to stop with hair accessories...there are just so many!  You may want to go with something fancy for your head rather than your belly as a sash will emphasize your 3rd trimester belly and break up the silouette of the dress.  A fancy headband adds the same flair but may offer a more flattering look.  Whatever you decide, look here first, you will only be spending pennies and are bound to find whatever suits your fancy.  (This is also a great place to check out for non-maternity maternity options.)

Hope this helped, Emily.  I hope you have a fantastic holiday season, and look and feel smashing the whole way through.  And mostly, congratulations on that sweet gift that you are bringing into the world.

Do you have a reader question?  Send me an email...

My extended family draws names at Christmas for gift giving.  Last year we began the tradition of not just purchasing a gift for "our person" but giving a handmade gift as well.  Well, I am knee-deep in my handmade project with no time to breath.  No time to blog, no time to eat or sleep.  No time to parent.  You get the idea.

Are you giving anything handmade this year?  I would love to hear what you're doing.  Oh, and if your project is stressing you out.

{image by Sofia Katariina}

And the winner is #60 - Jeanette Mc!

here's what she wrote:

Jeanette - can't wait to hear how you think it compares with Geranium (my second favorite scent, by the way!)

African skies via just be splendid

this day via bippity boppity boo

lights as a many shaded thing via Alcova Moderna

morning light via we love it

starting the day right via Dessert Girl

optimism via ffffound

the brights of Paris via ffffound

Amateur Photogs via Little Bits & Blogs

for the love of fashion via imgfave

Low-carb cones {aka porcelain} via simplesong

a good nest egg via we heart it

the view via M-Altruism

the small things via just be splendid

time alone to think via Caliv Vintage

answers via ffffound

old school via K.I.D. Collective

a mud room glorified via The Little Big House

recycling via look at me

winter trees julia.

making 'making-do' look glamorous via ffffound

winter night lights via alive by habit

reminders of love via Garance Dore

Part I.

Many moons ago, both my husband and I attended Baylor University in Waco, Texas.  Early on in my time there, I chose English as my degree of choice.  This choice was based less on my love of the written word and more on the knowledge that this was to be my simplest path in actually departing from the University with a degree.  Let's just say that my head was not in the game.

I spent four years engulfed in a myriad of classes covering all things Literature And Writing.  But one class, I ignored - Grammer.  I told people that I was a Creative Writing major though this major was not officially offered by the University.  And besides, my definition was bound to be off a bit from theirs.  What I meant was - my spelling is horrific and I don't give a rat's anything about capitalization, punctuation and the like.

At long last I am a senior, my course catalog has been ravished and yet there sits Grammar waiting patiently.  It is time.

I take the class.  Not so bad, really.  Boring, confusing but bearable.  I fail.

Part II.

I take the class again.  Second second semester, senior year.  I take a different teacher with a fresh approach. I get a kind little memo in my mailbox that I will not be graduating on time.  I've failed the class again. 

I go to see the Dean of the English Department.  As one of heaven's little jokes, she happens to be a former Grammar teacher.  She pities the fool and goes so far as to ask if I have considered the possibility that I might have a learning disability.  So I said - "Listen Sweetheart.  That may well be the case.  But I'm just not willing to explore that possibility one credit shy of graduation.  It's a little late in the game to go there." 

Okay, so I may not have actually said that out loud but I have said it a lot of times in my head since then.

Part III.

I muscle through the class a third time, summer school.  I study and pass with a C. 

Years later I start a blog and digress grammatically to the point that I must self-diagnose.  I most assuredly suffer from some type of disorder, perhaps onomatopoeia.

All this to say - thank you, dear Readers, for being willing to wade through all my vernacular vomit to get to the heart of the matter.  I apologize here and now for every misspelling, every word misuse and each and every one of their cousins.  One day, when this job pays a little better (or at all) I shall get an editor.  Should I then decide to pen my memoirs you can find them under this title -  My Life in Typos.

The End.

{endnote: Upon spell checking this essay upon it's completion I find that I have misspelled, wait for it, Grammar, each and everytime.  That's bad, folks.}

{image: sentence diagram of the Preamble of the Constitution}