reader traditions

Your recent post got me to remembering all of the things I love best and look forward to most about the holidays.  I agree that all of those things are based on long standing traditions.

As a child, I remember one of my male relatives, usually my Uncle Charles, would read The Christmas Story from the Bible with all of us kids gathered on the floor around his feet.  That was following by the singing of all of the favorite Christmas songs, always starting with Silent Night, Holy Night.

As young marrieds, my husband and I convinced our kids that Santa preferred cookies and sparkling wine to the usual milk.  That was our little reward to ourselves after hours of wrapping presents and putting together those impossible to put together toys.  We would drink the wine together while my husband wrote the kids a letter from "Santa" thanking them for being such good people and to remind them of the true meaning of Christmas.  My daughter and son in law now have my husband write our grandchildren a "Santa " letter every year.  She saves them packed away with the Christmas decorations and we reread  them while we sip our wine and wait for the kids to fall asleep so Santa can come.

There are many, many more things we do every season that are such traditions that they are automatic, habits, really.  We just wouldn't do it any other way.

Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Jean

{images: moxiee, double cappaccino}

reader traditions

This is going to be a very strange year for me because for the first time neither my husband nor I will be with our families on Christmas.  We live in Colorado and due to work schedules we can't be there on Christmas, and knowing that has made me think of all the traditions that we usually share.  Growing up my parents, sisters, and my mom's mom always spent Christmas Eve together.  We would dress up, go to mass (we were in the choir until we went to college), make and eat a fancy dinner, the sisters would exchange gifts, our dad would read Polar Express, and we would go to bed (I would always sleep in my little sister's room because my room was the guest room so my grandma would spend the night in there).  I always thought that we were so special to get grandma on Christmas Eve because my mom has 14 other siblings, but grandma ALWAYS stayed with us. 

Christmas morning always began with my sisters and I trying to shine flashlights into each other's windows or tapping out morse code messages (that we didn't understand) on our walkie-talkies.  Then we would pounce on my parents to wake them up.  My mom would sit with us at the top of the stairs while my dad would go downstairs to "check" to see if Santa had come and gone yet.  And then we would pour down the stairs and look at the presents for a while.  We always went straight for the stockings because we were allowed to open those while grandma got up and joined us and my parents started breakfast.  Then we all opened presents and my mom's sister and her family (who lived five houses down from us) would come to our house or we would go to theirs and everybody would share more presents.  Then we would eat - and I have to say that all those adults were AMAZING cooks.  There would always be strata, white hot chocolate, cinnamon buns, and sausage.

I'm not sure what we'll do this year without any family, but I'm checking back often to see if there's any traditions that my husband and I can start together. 

Also, it's not a Christmas tradition, but when we were little, my mom used to have tea for my sisters and I on Friday after school.  We all had our own china cups that we got to pick out, and we used silver spoons, and it was very fun and girly, and there was always a delicious dessert.  This was pretty much what happened every Friday during middle school and part-way through high school until things got too busy. 

I can't wait to see more traditions, I love knowing the traditions that people hold sacred.

{images: Juan Silva, {JO}, xkembri}

reader traditions

"Oh Emily, your post has had me pondering traditions all day. I wish my family had more traditions, but I think personalities have gotten in the way of that. A few stick around and I hope that as my husband move forward and one day are able to have kids, we'll be able to have our own meaning-filled traditions. I think a lot of handmade goodies will be a part of those new traditions. My favorite holiday tradition from childhood that I still honor is to go look at Christmas lights. I live near Dallas and Highland Park has always been the traditional place to go and ooh and ahh. My husband and I like to rate them and talk all about them like it's a sporting event, and we listen to Christmas music as we drive around. When we were kids the main traditions involved food. My Dad's side always celebrated on Christmas Eve with a traditional Finnish meal that always included lutefisk, which has to be one of the most vile foods ever served in the history of mankind (it's cod that's been soaked in lye until it's become like jelly), and rutabagas served boiled and plain. My mom raised to always eat pretty much anything set in front of us and there was no getting around having to eat our obligatory spoonful of lutefisk every Christmas Eve. It doesn't matter how much cream sauce you drown it in, lutefisk tastes terrible!!  To sweeten the deal, Christmas Day became a day free of any food restrictions. We were allowed to eat whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. And my mom always made sure the stockings were stuffed with plenty of candy to help us out.  We loved it and looked forward to it all year. It took several years to realize why it was that we never felt very good by evening on Christmas Day. Nobody should feel bad about us having to eat such a terrible Christmas Eve meal because it was our same Finnish grandma that would then shower us with literally dozens of amazing Christmas presents she'd spent the entire year hoarding for us, always including some new collection for our American Girl (mine was Samantha). I hope to have a little girl so getting something for her American Girl doll will be part of her Christmas tradition as well. Thanks for asking about traditions. It was fun to dwell on them today."

Anna Hithersay

{images: Highland park red tree - errantellipses, Lutefisk gnome - ~Darin~}

More Best Recipes: a winner!

And the winner is #96, Heather! 

Here's her comment:

***Jackie, you are absolutely right!  If this doesn't prove that I am utterly asleep in the morning hours than nothing does!***

The second winner is #43, Cara!

Here's what she wrote:

gag gifts, homemade gifts, etc.

One of my family's longest running traditions is the gift exchange.  Typically at Thanksgiving we draw names to see who we will be giving gifts to that Christmas.  For years, not only did we give a store bought gift but we also gave a gag gift as well.  Year after year the gag gifts became more and more elaborate.  Props, skits, and extensive directions accompanied many of these gifts.  There were often silly, sometimes disgusting, and finally humiliating.  Thus, the end of the gag gift tradition.  After several subsequent years of only store bought gifts, my family has found a new way to get rid of some of that excess creative energy.  As a mentioned in a previous post, for the second year in a row we are now giving homemade gifts along with our store bought. 

Because we alternate years of spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family and my husbands family, Sean and I typically only take part in the gift exchange every other year.  This year we drew names earlier and are exchanging gifts the day after Thanksgiving.  Hence why I was stressing so much about getting my gift completed. 

I'm excited to post about our homemade gifts next Monday to give you lots of good ideas in time for your gift giving. 

I love this tradition for so many reasons.  First, I love that we can go all out and get really into the gift that we are giving to our person because we aren't feeling drained of time, money or energy trying to purchase gifts for tons of people.  Off of that point, financially it is really a blessing.

It is also one of the most fun times for our family all year.  We get really cozy with hot drinks and really make an event of it.  It often takes a looong time, and we love that.  It is also so much fun to see everyone's creativity and hard work. 

Both last year and this year Sean and I shared a similar dialogue as we were working on our gifts.  We  noted how much we enjoyed learning these new skills and how we know we would never have done it otherwise.  There is something deeply satisfying about making something that you could have just as soon purchased.  And something ridiculously satisfying when you like what you made more than that something you could have bought. 

I am loving this new tradition.

{images clockwise: Marion, musicpb, kylanicole, rikrak creations}

traditions

I love traditions more than just about anything.  Really.  (See?)  You could tell me about nearly any tradition your family might have and I am bound to love it, unless maybe it's a mean or gross tradition.  But those should have their own separate term anyway.  Not to go all psycho-babble on you but I think traditions are an integral part of a child's root system.  It offers identity and history and being part of something beyond themselves.  And they're fun. 

One of my favorite things about tradition is that you don't need to be particularly creative or have a lot of money.  Traditions can be ridiculously simple and totally free.  Drinking root beer every Thursday after school with your mom has the same benefits and serves the same internal purposes as an annual blowout shopping spree in NYC.  In hindsight the pleasure is more about the anticipation and re-enactment of the tradition than the specifics of that tradition.

I'm going to be sharing a few of our holiday traditions and I would love, LOVE to hear yours.  If you are interested in sharing a family tradition of yours, please send me an e-mail telling me all about it.  (My e-mail link is in the righthand sidebar.)  It can brief or long, you can include photos, whatever you like -

Can't wait to hear...

{image by Idle Type}

Olliegraphic kids cards

Speaking of kids and cards...I am loving these. They are from olliegraphic and there is a range of options available for whatever your card or invitation need may be.  All of the customizable options are adorable.  I love the clean and fresh look of their illustrations with maybe a bit of a stylized fifties feel. 

As soon as we get our referral photo for our new little one (say a prayer it's in December!) I am definitely going to make a card with my three little one on it.  These will make for great thank-you notes coming from any one of them or all of them at once.  I'm wavering between the thank-you notes and individual prints of each kid.  Decisions!

For a little bit more, you can fully customize the look of each child.  Oh, and one of my favorite buying options is that they sell just the graphic so you can print up as many cards as you want from home.   I also think that these would make a great personal gift for friends or family.

These are just the standard customizeing options.  Cute, no?

And the Christmas cards!  If I happened to be organized enough to send out Chrsitmas cards, these would be them!

Spotted here.

More Best Recipes: a giveaway!

I have begun to hit the cookbooks, looking for fun and interesting variations to our family Thanksgiving favorites.  First stop?  Always and forever - something from my collection of Cooks Illustrated paraphernalia.  I have magazines, I have cookbooks.  I even try to catch their show whenever I can.  I love me some Cooks Illustrated. 

Why?  You may ask.  They spell it out.  Nothing is worse then being told to blanch something and all that comes to mind is Streetcar Named Desire.  I need the play by play.  Definitions, descriptions, lots of drawings showing me exactly what I need to know, exactly when I need to know it.

For the past several years The New Best Recipe has been my most beloved cookbook.  I highly recommend getting it into the hands of any graduate or newlywed you might happen upon.  Definitely my best basic cookbook.  And just out is the new More Best Recipes.  This cookbook takes things a little further.  It houses many beloved recipes but these ones are a bit more interesting then everybody's favorites in it's predecessor.

Do you know how these particular recipes end up in these particular cookbooks?  Let me tell you.  They pick a common favorite recipes.  Then choose about 50 of the most popular variations of that recipe.  And then all of the Test Kitchen Chefs go to town...they cook up every one of these recipes, several times, making subtle variations: ingredient choices, temperature, tool.  After extensive testing the chefs decide upon the ultimate recipe keeping in mind ease, cost and number of ingredients.  I have yet to have one of their recipes fail me.  No lie.

So, I have a couple of extra copies of More Best Recipes.  Want one?  Just share your favorite Thanksgiving dish and you are entered to win.  I'll announce two winners next Tuesday.

Holiday Chic Maternity Wear: reader question

Today I am excited to get to answer a question from a sweet reader of mine, also named Emily:

First of all, love your name (hehe) and love your blog!  I have it bookmarked and visit everyday.  I stumbled upon in when you were featured on Design Mom, another blog I visit daily.  I enjoyed so much reading and seeing all of your wedding details, and then I found out that you were adopting a child, and I knew this was the blog for me.  My husband and I have hopes of adopting from Korea one day when the money is saved and God has given his blessing.  This leads me into my question of the day... I'm preggers with my first (we're waiting and it will be a surprise!), and I'll be very pregnant for Christmas and all of it's social events, and I'm having such a hard time finding a dress that will be dressy enough for the holidays and chic enough for all of my showers.  I'd like something neutral that maybe I can make a few sashes or a few ribbon belts with flowers to change it up (I'm thinking a camel or chocolate color would look good on my skin and be flattering). Budget is also a concern (I'm a graphic designer and my husband is a youth minister, so, while we are blessed, we remain humble, if you know what I mean).  You seem to have similar taste (classic, chic, anything French) to me, and I was hoping that you could point me in the right direction of somewhere fabulous that maybe you found while you were pregnant.  Any advice you could offer would be wonderful!

~Emily

Hi Emily -

thanks for your great question.  I'm sure there are plenty of woman out there with the same predicament.  Here's how I would tackle it.  I also like to go to my favorite shops first, even if they are out of my price range.  You never know, they may just have the perfect thing on sale.  You may have to be a bit more flexible with color, etc. but could very well fall in love with something affordable that will be quality enough to see you through future pregnancies.  Another idea, depending on your size and how you are carrying - is to find a non-maternity dress in a maternity friendly style or in a larger size.  I can't tell you the number of times that I have asked people about their adorable maternity clothes and they have told me that it's some no-maternity find that they bought large.  I also love your idea of picking a neutral dress and then having fun with accessories to change it up for different events.  I do this in normal life even when I'm not pregnant. 

My favorite "little black maternity dresses" came from the sale rack at Nordstrom.  Though not in the brown family, black looks great with all coloring and is the most versatile color to wear in an assortment of ways.

I think this dress is adorable.  It's available for $48.90.

This cute pleated dress with pockets is on sale for $31.90

This dress has the perfect amount of holiday glamour but is still simple and understated for $57.90.

This may be my favorite.  Not quite as versatile as the others but very sophisticated and flattering.  It's from Destination Maternity for $34.98.

 This fun, beaded cocktail dress from Due is ready to go, even without jewelry.  It's $58.00

This camel, chiffon cocktail dress is perfection.  Other than the price, at $106 it may be more than you are looking to spend but then again, this one may be worth the splurge.  It's from Due, as well.

So far as accessories, I'd hit Forever 21.  You could spend $20 in there and walk out with loads of fun options. I went to grab some photos of fun stuff and had to stop with hair accessories...there are just so many!  You may want to go with something fancy for your head rather than your belly as a sash will emphasize your 3rd trimester belly and break up the silouette of the dress.  A fancy headband adds the same flair but may offer a more flattering look.  Whatever you decide, look here first, you will only be spending pennies and are bound to find whatever suits your fancy.  (This is also a great place to check out for non-maternity maternity options.)

Hope this helped, Emily.  I hope you have a fantastic holiday season, and look and feel smashing the whole way through.  And mostly, congratulations on that sweet gift that you are bringing into the world.

Do you have a reader question?  Send me an email...

handmade Christmas

My extended family draws names at Christmas for gift giving.  Last year we began the tradition of not just purchasing a gift for "our person" but giving a handmade gift as well.  Well, I am knee-deep in my handmade project with no time to breath.  No time to blog, no time to eat or sleep.  No time to parent.  You get the idea.

Are you giving anything handmade this year?  I would love to hear what you're doing.  Oh, and if your project is stressing you out.

{image by Sofia Katariina}

Pictorial Webster's A Visual Dictionary of Curiosities: a Giveaway!

It's a little difficult to admit this in the presence of all of my festive online peers, but I've never been so keen on Halloween.  A holiday dedicated to the gory, grotesque and fearsome?  In my world, holidays are meant to be a respite from such things.  If it were just fun costumes and candy I'd be all in.  It's just that if I see that "scream mask" one more year, I'll... you know, scream. 

But to avoid looking like a total dud, I've decided to do my own little version of trick or treat.  I just so happen to have a second copy of the new Pictorial Webster's.  It is called a Visual Dictionary of Curiosities and the name is very apt.  Filled with 1,500 historical engravings from the Webster's dictionaries of the 1900's - this volume includes everything from the simple to the strange.  It is a beautiful, alphabetical journey with maybe just a touch of a spooky element. It seems like the perfect treat for this All Hallows Eve.

If you would like the chance to win just leave a comment below with your favorite or least favorite thing about this holiday.  I'll choose a winner next Friday. 

{And yes, my kids are getting dressed up and going trick-or-treating.  Only this year the honor of escorting them will fall upon my husband's mother and sister.  Sean and I are sneaking out of town...remember?}

Monday morning

I've already had the most lovely morning and it isn't yet eight.  I was up by 4:30 for some reason and that really must be the trick.  Went for a little run at 5 and woke up all the neighborhood dogs.  That part wasn't so lovely.  Then came home and Sean made a fire and we drank good French pressed coffee and read our Bibles and prayed separately but side by side.  A bit later, Oliver made his way downstairs and we spend about a half hour, the three of us, cuddling in the firelight - outside still as dark as night.  Then Sean left for work and Eva made her way downstairs for more of the same. 

She and Oliver had their haircut this weekend and they both just look so old.  Not at all like babies anymore.  So when she requested to stay home from school today how could I say no?  These days are so fleeting...

I'm thinking we may just spend the day putting up their little Christmas tree, stringing popcorn and such.  I guess I always want to prolong that season as well.  Really aren't Christmastime and childhood nearly the same thing, after all?  Filled with wonder...

I'm gonna savor both for all their worth.

{image: majorly cool things}

anniversary gift

This is the anniversary gift that I made for Sean.  I haven't framed it yet but you get the general gist.  It was our seven year anniversary so I purchased each "love stamp" from the past seven years.  This was not nearly as easy as I thought it would be.  It wasn't even easy figuring out what the correct stamps were.  Someone should definitely come up with an organized stamp chronicling site, just sayin'. 

I decided to use the little envelopes to illustrate what vagabonds we have been during the course of our marriage.  Seven addresses in six years, that's serious.  So each year's love stamp corresponds with the address that we occupied at that time. 

The final envelope reads "forwarding address: home is with you. wherever that might be."

(This is actually going to be one of a three part series, more on those soon.)

anniversary

Today is Sean & my seven year anniversary.  As I was looking through a stack of perfectly styled wedding photos I came across this one.  It's from our rehearsal dinner, the night before we became one.  What is so striking to me about this photo is how perfectly it embodies our marriage.  We didn't live together before we were married and unlike the current popular trend, we didn't consummate our marriage until after it was official.  And yet that naive couple there is so eerily similar to us, seven years wiser, that is leaves me quiet and startled.  (Here in the photo, we are already present at our rehearsal dinner and Sean is helping me put an earring in.  So typical of us both.)

Life often feels too difficult to navigate alone.  When times are good we long for someone to share the view with.  When times are hard, someone to help us up, dust us off and make us presentable.  In Sean, God sent me a helper.  Someone to sojourn this tricky course of life with. He has been my faithful companion. Near, every step of the way.  

Beloved - I can't see far up ahead, but I have the sense that something really lovely is just beyond the horizon.  Lets go find it together, shall we?

"i am 5" announcements

When I asked Eva how she wanted to celebrate her birthday this year she said that she wanted to pass out invitations.  She didn't so much want to have a party but she really wanted to distribute lovely hued envelopes.  I have no idea where she gets it.  We decided on creating 5 year old announcements, a take-off of her birth announcement that she has always loved to hold and inspect as often as possible.  These are what we came up with.

We only sent them to family and a few close friends.  We addressed them to any little people in the home to avoid any chance people might think we were looting for gifts.  Certainly not!  (You can read about my thoughts on that over here.)  All in all, it was a really fun project to work on together and Eva was just thrilled with the whole thing.  Love that.

5

My sweet Eva turned five yesterday.  And entered the primary school class at our Montessori.  And her brother had his first (half) day of school ever.  The day nearly ended me. There were tears on all accounts.  Oliver declared upon arriving back home that he wanted to be home-schooled. (!).  By this morning he had decided that he was ready for full days.  (!).

But yesterday there was also lots of celebrating over my eldest.  Gifts tied with ribbons and balloons that would later have prayers scrawled across them and released up to heaven.  A personal two-tiered puppy cake, as requested, made by Daddy. 

I sent up some extra prayers for me as well.  God, help me to parent this little girl well.  These are unchartered waters and I will fail apart from Your grace.  Let me give her roots and wings.  A safe place to fall and those little pushes as needed. Let her know my love and delight in her light-years beyond any disappointment or disapproval.  Knit our hearts together for life.  Yes, and amen.

birthday weekend, Marfa style

Food, art, endless skies - we had an insanely good time in Marfa.  I would have to say that I would be hard pressed to come up with a better way to usher in 32 (thank you for all of your kind birthday wishes!). There was time & space & quiet enough for reflection and rejuvenation and I feel as though I am entering this next year full.  Excited even for what is in store.  Thank you Marfa for an invited assault on my senses and soul and for wide open spaces, to boot.

(all photos are our own).

Marfa

I have always loved my birthday.  I am one of those "oh, it's my birthday week", "but it's my birthday month" kind of people.  On Sunday I turn 32 years old.  Not sure what it is about 32 but I'm not feeling so excited.  Not only have I not been celebrating my birthday month as of yet - but I have hardly wanted to take notice of the day at all.  What is up with that?

I so long to be one of those people that marks each year with gusto, one who proudly shares their age viewing each passing year as a subsequent badge of honor.  Or at least a shiny gold button.  Something reflective & heavy with the weight of importance.  I don't want these days, years to pass un-noted.  Un-celebrated even.  I've earned these days.  I've spent myself on them.  They have worth.  They tell a story worth retelling. 

And then in a frenzy, yesterday, last minute, in a moment -  Tawny decided to fly out for the weekend.  Her spot in my friendship hall-of-fame cannot be adulterated.  We are to spend the weekend in Marfa and she is helping me to greet 32 with some dignity.  I may not be feeling it yet, but perhaps acting as though I'm feeling it is a start. 

{image: Marfa, TX Allison V Smith}

We're off for a week in KC and some lake time in the Ozarks.  I'm not sure if I will have an internet connection but I have sheduled some guest posts.  Happy 4th!

{image spotted here.}

Fathers

I believe with all of my heart that the reason I chose to marry such a great man was because my father is such a great man.  It is hard for me to imagine growing up seeing greatness modeled year after year and then choosing other than that for your own future. 

I know this is probably not typical, being blessed in both birth and in marriage the way that I have been - and I never want to take it for granted. 

I have heard it said before that we view God through the lens of how we see our own father.  That would definitely explain why I see God as One Who always wants me near.  As One Who wants only to keep me safe and cares about my every little need.  I see God this way because that's how my own dad has always loved me. 

I sense that my children may have similar ease in knowing the love of God.  Sean has been every bit as involved in raising our children as I have.  On any given day you are just as likely to find him changing diapers or giving baths or reading books to our kids before nighttime prayers.  

My guess is that my children will see God as One who wants to be near to them.  One who is intimately involved in the matters of their days.  One Who's love is readily available and evident in the great and mundane moments of life.  

Can you tell that I'm unbelievable grateful for the dads in my life?

I love you, Dad.  

I love you, Sean.

Thank you for choosing to love your families so unselfishly.  We are forever better because of it.

{image of me & my dad}