grab bags

Just after college I had the opportunity to participate in something called a "poverty simulation".   For one weekend, me and about 20 others received a crash course on poverty in America.  We learned about many reasons, misconceptions and even possible solutions for this complicated topic.  From there we "took to the streets".  With nothing but the clothes on our backs and a sleeping bag, we spent the weekend figuring out how to make-do.  It was very humbling and very eye-opening.  I remember a group of former sorority sisters driving by wide-eyed as I stood on a corner with a sign asking for help.  Undoubtedly, it was one of the best experiences of my life.  Sometimes we need to stand on the other side of the sign to gain some perspective. 

One of the bits of wisdom that I remember most from that time was that when you approach a homeless person, whether walking up or approaching them in your car - make eye contact.  If you don't want to give them anything else, at least offer them a smile.  Many of us avoid eye contact at all cost, not wanting to engage the person in any way.  We were taught about the dehumanizing effect of person after person avoiding eye contact with someone.  It can be more crippling than nearly any other aspect of poverty.  We don't know this person's story, and really it doesn't matter.  What matters is that this person is another member of the human race and should be treated as such.

My kids are really interested in the homeless people in our area.  I have spent the last year kicking myself whenever I forget to have something on hand to offer them as I always like to give something.  So finally a couple of weeks back I finally got my bottom over to Sams and the kids and I walked the aisles determining what would be the best items to include in our "grab bags" for our homeless neighbors.  We ended up getting large ziploc freezer bags and filling them each with a water bottle, clif bar, beef jerkey, toothbrush, breath strips, wet wipes, gum, chapstick, and a pair of socks. We also wrote little notes and added those as well. The whole thing cost a little over $100 for about 25 bags.  I refer to them as grab bags beacuse the point is to keep them on hand so you have something to grab and offer when you need it.

We put several in my car and several in my husbands.  The kids loved putting the bags together and it spawned lots of lively conversation about a myriad of related topics.  They are now quick to point out when they see a homeless person and are thrilled to have something to share with them.  It's a small thing.  It may not change the face of poverty in this nation, but it sure changes the face of the neighbor we just met. 

Sean suggested that we add area shelter information and I am going to try to get that into the bags today.  It has been such a great project for the kids, and for us.  I'm hoping that we stick with this one for the long haul and as we start to run low on bags we quickly run out and replenish.  It's such a small effort to demonstrate love to some folks that may really be needing some.  

{image by dailyad}

Johnny & June

A couple of weeks back, Sean and I were finishing up listening to our recent road trip book-on-tape, Sex God by Rob Bell. There was a chapter entitled Johnny & June that hit me upside the head while I was listening and has remained with me since then.  In the chapter, Bell discusses the renowned love story of Johnny and June Cash.  Few people's love stories stand out from the others, and theirs was marked by deep friendship, lifelong devotion and mutual respect.  Apparently, Johnny did little without first letting his wife weigh in.  Her feedback was essential to him. 

I think most want this kind of love story but far fewer want to do what it takes to have it.  I see that in myself sometimes, too tired to do the hard work.  Or other days, too offended.  At one point in the chapter, Bell refers to the kind of woman that love their spouses well when he is doing things right.  And then, in turn, love their spouse less well, when he is falling short.  I think I may do this sometimes, as well.  And hearing someone say it out loud felt like a lodged dagger.  Still feeling the sting of it, I was thinking through that idea a few days ago and this thought came to my mind:

love him like he's doing everything right, and he just might.

What this idea is not, is one of manipulation to get what you want, because that's not love.  The heart behind it is loving my spouse unconditionally.  Good days, bad days - no matter.  My kindness and affection for him look the same regardless of his "performance".  How freeing this would be for both of us, a constant love. 

And maybe, just maybe, that kind of love would free him to be the very best version of himself.  And then me the best version of myself.  It's just a thought, but one surely worth trying.  Isn't that what I vowed to do after all?  Love him fully, at all times, regardless?

I really liked Sex God, by the way, and wholeheartedly recommend it.  Don't be turned off by the title.  And now I'm itching to read Johnny Cash's autobiography.  Not to try to live out their great love story.  But maybe to be nudged into living out ours.

{image of the Johnny & June}

cold tangerines: a giveaway!

The sentiment on the last envelope of my anniversary gift to Sean was inspired by Shauna Niequist's wedding vows which she wrote about in her first book, cold tangerines.  I have been gulping this book down as quickly as my heart can stand it because, you see, this is one of those books.  The kind that feels like it was written specifically for me, in this instant in time, to grind me to dust and then put me back together again far better than when I began.  This book is about the discipline of celebration.  It has the capacity to change the way I live.  I hope I let it.

Here's the part where Shauna is talking about her wedding vows and about becoming a family with her new husband:

"When I said to him on our wedding day that when I was with him, I was home, I did not mean, "Let's move to Michigan and see if I'm right, okay?"  I meant, "I love you so much, let's stay in Chicago where my parents and my friends are, how about that?"  But I said, before God and seven bridesmaids, that Aaron is my home, my partner, my number one, and so now I live in Michigan.  The moral of the story, I suppose, is that, if at all possible, you should make your wedding vows very noncommittal and easy to keep.  Things like, "If you have an idea, I'll consider it, most of the time," or "If it doesn't interfere with my own plans, I'd be happy to hear your request."  I, however, was quite naive and promised to live, no matter what, with and for and deeply connected to this other person.  Thank God.

September 11, 2001, was a Tuesday.  Aaron and I had been married for two weeks and had arrived home two days before from our honeymoon to Sydney and the Great Barrier Reef.  And I'm using the word home loosely.  Aaron was moving into my little house, and I had not made any space for him or his things before the wedding.  The floor of the loft was covered with wedding presents and ribbons and torn wrapping paper, and every available surface was littered with one or another wedding related item - leftover programs, clothing for the honeymoon that didn't make it into the bag and needed to be returned, favor ideas gone awry.  All of his earthly belongings were piled into the basement and the garage, and I remember secretly thinking that that wasn't a bad place for them, given the limited space in the house.  The bathroom and the closet were of special concern, and he lived for a few days like a college student in a dorm, with his toothbrush and razor packed into his shaving kit, toting it in and out of the bathroom. 

Immediately before the wedding, I had acted on an ill-conceived idea to use the tiny dining area as a sort of Roman, reclining-and-dining area, with two enormous but extremely uncomfortable wicker-ish throne-like chairs, each with an ottoman.  I guess that I thought that rather than a little table for four wedged in between the kitchen and living room, this would be a more interesting and less conventional use of space, and I liked the idea of us curled up on these palatial chairs, watching the news and talking about our days.  They were so big that we had to turn sideways to get to the kitchen , and so uncomfortable that Aaron boycotted them almost immediately.  The only reason that I remember them, I think, is that on September 11, we sat on them and watched the news for hours.  Later that week, the chairs went back to the store at Aaron's insistence. 

I remember coming home from work that day and having the clear sense that that night, the evening of September 11, was one to be spent with family.  At that time, and at our age then, we didn't totally understand the implications of what had happened.  No one did, of course, but perhaps least of all us, who had grown up in an age of so little violence and war, at least to our awareness.  We knew, though, instinctively, that that was a night to spend with family, and we realized with a jolt that that's hwat we were.  We were family. 

It's hard to imagine now, now that we have been married for five years years, now that we live in another state, in our home, one with space for me and space for him.  Now we are, certainly, family.  Aaron is my first thought and last thought, the companion with whom I walk through every part of life.

But he wasn't yet, at that point.  A wedding didn't make him my family, or a honeymoon, or grudgingly giving him one half of the storage space in the bathroom (let's be honest - one quarter).  What did make him my family, though, was the decision to stay home with him on that Tuesday night, to sit in those horribly uncomfortable chairs, holding hands across their massive, prickly arms, watching the news for hours.  Our first impulse was to go home, to my parents' house and to his, and we stared at each other for a moment in the living room, wondering what to do.  We stayed in a house that didn't feel particularly like home for either one of us at that point, and I think it became a little bit more of a home that night.

That's how family gets made.  Not by ceremonies or by certificates, and not by parties or celebrations.  Family gets made when you decide to hold hands and sit shoulder to shoulder when it seems like the sky is falling.  Family gets made when the world becomes strange and disorienting, and the only face you recognize is his.  Family gets made when the future obscures itself like a solar eclipse, and in the intervening darkness, you decide that no matter what happens in the night, you'll face it as one."

I have two signed copies of cold tangerines to give away.  Trust me, you want one of them. 

Just leave a comment and i'll choose two winners next Monday.  Thanks Shauna.  Really, thank you.

fears aside

If it isn't the extremists then it's the economy. 

Or on any given day I might choose to fret over any lack whatsoever in the areas of health, happiness or even home decor.  I keep the news turned off as I no longer care to heed the call to fear... may it be over autism or socialism or materialism or any of their ism cousins.

Instead I like to play this song on repeat until those dark lies fade:

Show the Way by David Wilcox

You say you see no hope, you say you see no reason
We should dream that the world would ever change
You're saying love is foolish to believe
'Cause there'll always be some crazy with an Army or a Knife
To wake you from your day dream, put the fear back in your life...

Look, if someone wrote a play just to glorify
What's stronger than hate, would they not arrange the stage
To look as if the hero came too late he's almost in defeat
It's looking like the Evil side will win, so on the Edge
Of every seat, from the moment that the whole thing begins
It is...

Love who makes the mortar
And it's love who stacked these stones
And it's love who made the stage here
Although it looks like we're alone
In this scene set in shadows
Like the night is here to stay
There is evil cast around us
But it's love that wrote the play...
For in this darkness love can show the way

So now the stage is set. Feel you own heart beating
In your chest. This life's not over yet.
so we get up on our feet and do our best. We play against the
Fear. We play against the reasons not to try
We're playing for the tears burning in the happy angel's eyes
For it's...

Love who makes the mortar
And it's love who stacked these stones
And it's love who made the stage here
Although it looks like we're alone
In this scene set in shadows
Like the night is here to stay
There is evil cast around us
But it's love that wrote the play...
For in this darkness love can show the way

You can listen to it here.

{image by macropoulo}

best of Santa Fe: the Loretto Chapel Staircase

A visit to the Loretto Chapel was one of the high points of our trip to Santa Fe.

I enjoyed the legend of the infamous staircase so much that I had to share it here for those of you that have never heard it:

"Two mysteries surround the spiral staircase in the Loretto Chapel: the identity of its builder and the physics of its construction.
When the Loretto Chapel was completed in 1878, there was no way to access the choir loft twenty-two feet above. Carpenters were called in to address the problem, but they all concluded access to the loft would have to be via ladder as a staircase would interfere with the interior space of the small Chapel.

Legend says that to find a solution to the seating problem, the Sisters of the Chapel made a novena to St. Joseph, the patron saint of carpenters. On the ninth and final day of prayer, a man appeared at the Chapel with a donkey and a toolbox looking for work. Months later, the elegant circular staircase was completed, and the carpenter disappeared without pay or thanks. After searching for the man (an ad even ran in the local newspaper) and finding no trace of him, some concluded that he was St. Joseph himself, having come in answer to the sisters' prayers.

The stairway's carpenter, whoever he was, built a magnificent structure. The design was innovative for the time and some of the design considerations still perplex experts today.

The staircase has two 360 degree turns and no visible means of support. Also, it is said that the staircase was built without nails—only wooden pegs. Questions also surround the number of stair risers relative to the height of the choir loft and about the types of wood and other materials used in the stairway's construction.

Over the years many have flocked to the Loretto Chapel to see the Miraculous Staircase. The staircase has been the subject of many articles, TV specials, and movies including "Unsolved Mysteries" and the television movie titled "The Staircase." "

{images by Norby}

Christa-Taylor

I didn't want to miss this opportunity to share my favorites from Christa's shop.  What makes her designs so unique is that this girl is using them to wage a counter-culture war.  Yep, you heard me right.  Fed-up with all of the revealing fashions of the day, Christa & her family decided to do something about it.  They are on a mission to prove that modesty doesn't need to mean frumpy.  Check these out these pieces and you'll see that they're right:

Find more, here.

the vows

Sean to me:

"Em, I lay down my independence and the claims I have on myself so that you can take full possession of all that I am.  From this day until my last, I belong to you; never to be my own or any others.

As your husband, I will lead us, by the Spirit, in walking intimately with Jesus, serving Him and walking humbly before Him all of our days.  And I promise to provide for your needs, to defend and protect you; to stand up for and stand by you all my days.

As your lover, I give my body and my love unconditionally, unreservedly, and unashamedly to you.  And I promise to warm you when you are cold, to hold you gently, to kiss you passionately, and to speak kindly to you all my days.

As your friend, I will be loyal and trustworthy, making myself a safe place for you.  I will be transparent and honest, letting nothing put distance between us.  And I promise to do lots of fun things with you, to travel the world with you as much as possible, and to run this race with you for all my days.

Together with God, let’s be dreamers and let our dreams collide and become one.  Then, let’s live to pursue that dream together.

Emily Paige, I will and I choose to love you until my dying day."

Me to Sean:

"I choose you,  Sean, to be my lifelong lover.  To walk this earth with, not differentiating  work from play, and adding it all as worship unto our King. 

It is in this place that I offer you my life to bind together with your own.  For tonight I give myself to you - fully - without condition or reservation.  All that I am and all that I have is yours.  I will never take it back.

Tonight I accept your hand, your love, and your name as my own.  I receive you as God's perfect gift to me.  By His grace I will never take this gift for granted.

For our God has fashioned me perfectly to serve as your helper, lover, comforter & friend.  Therefore, I vow to ever love Him first that I might love you well. 

I submit myself to you now as unto the Lord Himself, yielding to His shielding sovereignty in our lives.  In that, I choose always to believe your words, trust your actions, and know your love. 

Sean, I want to be hand and hand with you in the days when you are healthy and wealthy and things are going your way.  But nearer to you still when you are sick or sad or poor.

The Lord has assigned you, Sean, for my portion and my cup.  I take you tonight as my husband, securing my lot.  Clearly the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.  I couldn't be more thrilled with my inheritance.  "

{ketubah by Tawny Cooper, calligraphy by Rebecca Trawick}

misc. wedding paper

These were our rehearsal dinner invites - letterpress coasters from Snow & Graham.

We set matchbooks beside boxes of Swisher Sweets in the mens room.  (Sexist, I know.)

We had lots of little signs made that led to the ceremony site and then were scattered about at the wedding. All of our calligraphy was done by Rebecca Trawick of Bluebird Studios. 

Labels for the water bottles are from my own labels.

 

Each of our guests signed our Ketubah as legal witnesses.  Tawny painted the Ketubah and our vows were written out by Rebecca at Bluebird Studios. 

Passover

Even though I am a Christian, my mother was born a Jew.  And as Judaism is a faith passed down by the matriarch of the family - I am fully a Christian and fully Jewish.  Even if I wasn't Jewish I think I that would still love the Passover Seder ritual.  It is so full of meaning & symbolism.  I love how the the simplicity of the tradition is captured in these photographs.  

If you are interested in learning more about the Passover Seder, click here.  

{images from Ruthie Pearlman, Splat Worldwide, paurian, skaspers}

Sabbath

Our family has slowly but surely been starting to take a Sabbath day.  So far we have failed in this endeavor as often as succeeded.  But at long last, we are at least now on the journey.  We are attempting to unplug from the world for 24 hours each week.  No phones or computer.  No work.  Just time & conversation and a few small family rituals.  One of which is our newfound Sabbath supper.  This typically takes place on Saturday night.  Not much separates it from a typical evening meal except intentionality, two candles and spoken blessings.  Here's how it's been going down.  

The kids get all excited .  They are at an age when they think this is cool & special and not weird or annoying. I'd like to think it will stay this way.  Eva likes to be in charge of turning off the lights.  I then say a prayer while lighting the candles.  We then attempt to have a solely pleasant meal: enjoyable conversations only and sometimes perhaps a word game.  

At some point during the meal Sean goes around the table and affirms something in each one of us.   Maybe something we did or said during the week that he was especially proud of or a positive trait he wants to call out in us.  And that's it.  Oh, and usually we have dessert.  A rarity at our house.  I try to make the meal simple & planned in advance so there is no stress & little actual work. Sean came up with a Sabbath soup that we have made several times now.  Everyone likes it (with copious amounts of crusty bread & soft butter) and it's easy to make in advance.  

I love Sabbath now.  I like the chance to take stock of the past week and ready for the next.  A pause in our lives.  An intentional setting to speak out the things we often feel but rarely say.  And just plain old rest.  I didn't realize how much I needed it.  But God sure did. 

{image by Oh!Rachew!}

Song of Solomon 8:6-7

Bind me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
the very flame of the Lord.
Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.

{image by Rodney Smith}

i love fridays

Going with the girls to hear Beth Moore tonight and I am so excited.  

Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

{photo by crystalwood}

let's talk about love.

February has arrived and with it, the ubiquitous cardboard plastic sentiments in various hues of pink & red. Some smile & sigh at their arrival. Others groan. Still, whether you're caught up in a fabulous romance or not, most of us, deep down, love love.  Without it, and without passion for that matter, life is flat.  It slowly evolves into a one-dimensional, monochromatic endless diet of mundane.  

Sound depressing?  It is.  

Because we were created to be passionate people.  And more then that, we were created to love.  

It is our highest call. 

{image from Bella Seven}

At Last

Today is a great day in America's story.  It doesn't matter if you are a Democrat or a Republican or lost somewhere in between, like me. What does matter is that today something is about to occur that is long overdue.  

Welcome Obama family!  

I will continue to pray for blessing, wisdom & grace for you and your administration.

{image found at BarackObama.net}

Martin Luther King, Jr. - remembered

Today we honor a great man.  Not a perfect man, of course.  But a man that gave us much to choose from in terms of inspiration and admiration.  A minister, an activist, a civil rights leader and human rights icon.  A great orator.  The youngest male recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize.  A force in the ending of racial segregation and discrimination.  A man who chose the methods of civil disobedience and non-violence.  One who ended his lifetime fighting poverty and opposing the war in Vietnam.  A man who spent himself on behalf of others.

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

"I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood."

"This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day."

"Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksand of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children."

"Let freedom ring. And when this happens, and when we allow freedom to ring—when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children—black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics—will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Today I honor this man and His enduring dream.  Thank you, Reverend King for daring to dream it.

{image found at Africa Within}

Brooke, a bride

I have a dear friend, Brooke, who I got to know and love during our time together in Morocco.  I also got to watch her relationship with a great man, Justin, begin and grow in that time. On January 2nd, these two were married in Nashville.  It breaks my heart that we weren't able to be there.  I have been living vicariously through their lovely photographs and I just had to share some of them here. 

 

Congratulations, you two.   

God is sharing His beauty with the world, through your lives entwined. 

{Brooke & Justin's excellent photographer was Michael Howard, you can find him here}

child's pose

I just got back a bit ago from my Yogalates class.  Isn't that just fun to say?  We were in the middle of doing the child's pose (seen above) when I had an interesting thought.  I was thinking about how this is the position that I am typically in while I am praying.  And then our instructor said the name again: child's pose.  Isn't that the perfect name for our posture during prayer?  Humbled, relaxed, trusting, coming as a child.  The pose in itself read to me just likemy prayers:  "Father, I am so small and so utterly incapable apart from You.  Please take over on my behalf." And in that time He transforms my weakness into strength.  

And that was today's Yogalates meditation. 

{image from purlingplan's}

daily Bread

My mom ordered me a copy of this daily Bible and it just arrived in the mail.  It's starts at January first so I have a little catching up to do.  The cool thing is that it is organized chronologically, which I am excited about because as much as I love the Word, sometimes a fresh perspective is all you need for it to kick you in the teeth once again.  I use the term "kick you in the teeth" as a good thing here. 

Mom bought it here. 

Happy New Year!

So, I realize that this is a little late but man it is hard to post from another person's home.  And alas, we are home.  so...Happy New Year!

I love, love fresh beginnings.  New calendars, clear journals.  Endless possibilities.  Limitless hope.   

And I am not someone that balks at resolutions.  Sure, we may not meet them all perfectly.  Sure some may fall quickly to the wayside but is that a reason to have no goals, no aspirations.  No hope to be a better you.  Perhaps with each resolution we take a baby step forward, and that is at least, something.

Here are my big 3 for the coming year.

1.  I want to pursue real and lasting health this coming year.  I want to make choices that contribute to, rather then steal from my and my families health.   

2. Walk in true joy that is not tied to my circumstances.  

3. Be present in the moment.  Not let technology or entertainment or even future dreams take away from what God has given me - right now.  

What are your resolutions for the coming year?

{photo from Antiquish's}